A life lived seeking the approval of others and the way others want us to live is a life wasted. “If you ever get to the bottom of why people live in regret, it’s almost always because they followed a path or made choices that someone wanted them to make. They did it for approval and belonging. And ended up feeling unfulfilled, numb, and disconnected,” wrote psychologist Nicole LePera as she explained the importance of seeking our own needs and choices. Humans are wired to be social beings – sometimes we end up seeking external validation. While there is nothing wrong about seeking approval and validation from others, we should be careful not to shape our lives based solely on that.
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“When we make our live choices solely on external validation, we disconnect from ourselves. This creates numbness, depression, anxiety, and dysfunctional attempts to self soothe because we’re meant to follow our own intuition. We’re meant to have our needs met. We’re meant to connect with our internal compass, rather than the plans other people have for us,” Nicole further added. Here are a few tips to break free from this pattern:
Disappoint people: it is not how it sounds. Sometimes people will get disappointed when we stop choosing themselves before ourselves – and that is okay. We need to learn to prioritise our own needs.
Success is a feeling: We need to understand that a happy and a satisfied life is the epitome of success. Success is not a title that we win, but the feeling we get when we are at ease with ourselves.
Meet ourselves: We need to return to ourselves, connect with our inner self and find our own joy and happiness.
Embrace the guilt: Difficult emotions are a byproduct of taking the right step sometimes. We should learn to embrace the guilt of choosing ourselves over others, even if that disappoints them.
Courtesy – www.hindustantimes.com