Sometimes, when we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we tend to develop the father wound. Father wound is the emotional scar that develops over a significant period of time from the experience of not having a father or a father figure around while growing up. “The father wound, in short, is the absence of the emotional connection that only the father can provide to the child. One of the major responsibilities of the father is modeling true fatherhood, as well as giving the child a sense of self and self-confidence,” explained Therapist Emmylou Antonieth Seaman. The expert further noted down a few signs of having the father wound:
Fear of abandonment: when we grow up with the father wound, we have difficulty in being vulnerable and intimate with a romantic partner – this stems from the fear of rejection and abandonment, making us push the partner away.
Not being ourselves: We constantly believe that we are not liked and loved. This feeling prohibits us from being our true self around others.
Closeness and intimacy: Even though we crave closeness and intimacy, we are also uncomfortable with it because they seem foreign to us.
People-pleasing nature: since we are constantly scared that people will dislike us and push us away, we put them as priorities and are constantly pursuing them by pleasing them.
Dismissing ourselves: We dismiss us and our needs constantly and try to put the needs of others first.
Lack of boundaries: We do not set clear boundaries for ourselves, because of the fear of being disliked by others.
Self-criticism: The way we talk to ourselves helps in shaping the way we feel about ourselves. When we grow up with the father wound, we are constantly criticising ourselves and being harsh with ourselves. This further affects our sense of self.
Mother’s role: We have a tendency to take up the mother’s role in romantic relationships and in friendships.
Courtesy – www.hindustantimes.com